2008 Woodie Awards
Love and sadness: couples coping with depression
danielle capalbo
Issue date: 3/31/08 Section: Sex
In the past five months, everything about their relationship has changed.
When Andrew Phan was a senior at Troy High School in Detroit, Jenny Hill was his prom date. They grew attached, and though they planned to split up when Phan left for Boston, they didn't end up liking other people as much as they liked each other, he said.
But these days, they barely speak.
"Things had gotten really rough over holiday break," said Phan, a middler pharmacy major. "Our relationship - it took on a whole new weight."
Although reception was poor and his mother's voice was breaking up into static, Phan said he knew something was wrong when she called on Oct. 10. He was right. His father, who would have turned 50 two weeks later, had died. He wasn't sick, Phan said - he was training for a triathlon and drowned - and after the unexpected loss, Phan's anxiety and depression cast his relationship with Hill in a whole new light.
"I think for her, it felt like it wasn't good enough, whatever she did to try and make me feel better," he said. "Or that she wasn't enough."
Phan is part of a growing population of college students who cope with depression - it effects from 18 to 21 percent of students, according to studies conducted between 2000 and 2006 by the American College Health Association - and who must balance that struggle with other daily responsibilities. For some, this includes maintaining romantic relationships, which almost always feel the pressure of a mental illness.
"Students who are in relationships and come in complaining of feeling depressed often express concern that it is affecting that relationship," said Dr. Robert Klein, director of behavioral health at University Health and Counseling Services. "Part of the work begins with trying to understand how it's impacting the relationship - in what ways the depression is manifesting itself."
Although UHCS does not offer couples counseling, Klein said partners can join each other during some counseling sessions, and that clinicians would accommodate a patient who felt more comfortable in session with their significant other around.
When Andrew Phan was a senior at Troy High School in Detroit, Jenny Hill was his prom date. They grew attached, and though they planned to split up when Phan left for Boston, they didn't end up liking other people as much as they liked each other, he said.
But these days, they barely speak.
"Things had gotten really rough over holiday break," said Phan, a middler pharmacy major. "Our relationship - it took on a whole new weight."
Although reception was poor and his mother's voice was breaking up into static, Phan said he knew something was wrong when she called on Oct. 10. He was right. His father, who would have turned 50 two weeks later, had died. He wasn't sick, Phan said - he was training for a triathlon and drowned - and after the unexpected loss, Phan's anxiety and depression cast his relationship with Hill in a whole new light.
"I think for her, it felt like it wasn't good enough, whatever she did to try and make me feel better," he said. "Or that she wasn't enough."
Phan is part of a growing population of college students who cope with depression - it effects from 18 to 21 percent of students, according to studies conducted between 2000 and 2006 by the American College Health Association - and who must balance that struggle with other daily responsibilities. For some, this includes maintaining romantic relationships, which almost always feel the pressure of a mental illness.
"Students who are in relationships and come in complaining of feeling depressed often express concern that it is affecting that relationship," said Dr. Robert Klein, director of behavioral health at University Health and Counseling Services. "Part of the work begins with trying to understand how it's impacting the relationship - in what ways the depression is manifesting itself."
Although UHCS does not offer couples counseling, Klein said partners can join each other during some counseling sessions, and that clinicians would accommodate a patient who felt more comfortable in session with their significant other around.
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