2008 Woodie Awards
SEXcapades
Issue date: 9/24/07 Section: Sex
- Page 1 of 1
Revenge is sweet, but it can also be pretty bitter.
My ex-girlfriend and I used to break up frequently for a couple days at a time. Recently, I decided to make our most recent break up, our final one. However, I have issues with letting relationships go unless I do something to scorn the other person.
I had my mission all planned out: find out where my ex planned to party one night, go and hook up with a girl right in front of her. Stupid, I know, but it's just something I'm addicted to.
On the night i wanted to execute my plan I realized at the last minute the party had a mascarade theme. I quickly put together an outfit and went to the party. However, once I got there I couldn't figure out which masked girl was my ex, so I figured I'd just pick a random masked girl, hookup with her and hope my ex was around to see.
I quickly chose my target. Instead of boring both myself and her with useless banter, I went straight up to her, once I was feeling gutsy (or drunk) enough, and started kissing her.
We soon moved into a nearby bedroom and decided to keep our masks on while getting it on to make things a little more fun. Once we were done, we parted ways.
The next morning, I checked my voicemail and there was a message. Turns out the mystery woman was my ex and now she wanted to start things up again after "such a wonderful night together." I had hooked up with my ex without even knowing.
My night of revenge and scorn turned into a night that trapped me in a new cycle of doomed breakups. I let things run their course for awhile but have now ended things for good, and this time, I skipped the night of revenge.
My ex-girlfriend and I used to break up frequently for a couple days at a time. Recently, I decided to make our most recent break up, our final one. However, I have issues with letting relationships go unless I do something to scorn the other person.
I had my mission all planned out: find out where my ex planned to party one night, go and hook up with a girl right in front of her. Stupid, I know, but it's just something I'm addicted to.
On the night i wanted to execute my plan I realized at the last minute the party had a mascarade theme. I quickly put together an outfit and went to the party. However, once I got there I couldn't figure out which masked girl was my ex, so I figured I'd just pick a random masked girl, hookup with her and hope my ex was around to see.
I quickly chose my target. Instead of boring both myself and her with useless banter, I went straight up to her, once I was feeling gutsy (or drunk) enough, and started kissing her.
We soon moved into a nearby bedroom and decided to keep our masks on while getting it on to make things a little more fun. Once we were done, we parted ways.
The next morning, I checked my voicemail and there was a message. Turns out the mystery woman was my ex and now she wanted to start things up again after "such a wonderful night together." I had hooked up with my ex without even knowing.
My night of revenge and scorn turned into a night that trapped me in a new cycle of doomed breakups. I let things run their course for awhile but have now ended things for good, and this time, I skipped the night of revenge.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
What a Moron
posted 9/27/07 @ 1:36 PM EST
If this is true, this guy is a total idiot. Most likely, this is total BS.
Christina
posted 9/27/07 @ 5:18 PM EST
you've got to be fucking kidding me with this bullshit in the paper.
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